Have you ever had a conversation with a friend and wondered to yourself “I wonder how much of what she told me was really true?”  Well here’s a list of the nine lies that friends like to tell.  What are those you ask?  Well I’ve been sworn by secrecy by the CIA, NSA, Mi6, and the Public Library not to reveal them, but for you, I will.  You just can’t leak this to my KGB contact.

• Number of sexual partners:  Let’s face it; this is the easiest area where to lie.  If your friend is a guy, the real number is going to be less than what he tells you.  If it’s a gal, it’s going to be more than what she is telling you..

• Your choice of clothes:  Your friend may notice that your purple shirt does not go with those plaid pants. However, instead of warning you about your impending disaster, when asked by you what they think, they’ll be more likely to say, “That looks great.”

• What their job really entails:  Your friend tells you that she just got a job as the Office Manager for a prestigious downtown law firm.  In reality it’s more than likely she is filing memos and faxing documents for a single practice attorney who’s just getting started.

• What their significant other really does for a career:  Similar to #3, the status of one’s spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend has a tangential reference to their own self-worth.  Who wants to tell a friend that your wife works as a night janitor in a university building when you can say that she is ”Assisting with a team of researchers at a University to come up with a cure for cancer.”

• Why they couldn’t hang out with you:  “Sorry I couldn’t make it last night, I had family commitments” is usually more like “My wife really would prefer that I don’t spend time with you because she’s afraid I’ll turn out just like you.”

• How much money they really make:  I don’t care how good of friends they are, I doubt they are going to be sharing their paystub with you.  

• Who they really know:  Some friends like to tell their friends all the important people they know.  The truth be told, many times their relationship with these important people go as far as having their picture taken with them.

• Their idyllic childhood:  When they start telling you what a wonderful childhood they had with the perfect mother and father, wonderful siblings, and a comfortable home, it’s time to start putting the truth radar up.

• What they think of your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend:  Yes, your friend may be married to a slob who hangs around in a wife beater t-shirt and hasn’t bathed in a week, but you’re more likely to tell your friend “He seems nice” instead of the truth which is “What did you see in that doofus?”

The ugly truth is that friends lie.  So instead of getting your emotional gratification from them, get it from yourself.  And yes, it’s probably time to get a coach so you don’t have to live wondering about what is truth and what is a lie; it won’t matter.

Kevin Weir